I’ve set the same goal three years in a row. If that sounds familiar, this post is for you.
The problem usually isn’t laziness or lack of motivation. It’s that our goals are too vague, unrealistic or unsustainable.
In this post, you’ll learn how to set goals that actually stick.
Why Most Goals Fail
We set goals when we’re feeling inspired. On January first, or after watching someone on social media completely turn their life around. But then we have to execute our plans on a rainy Monday morning when we’re tired and our to-do list is endless. And suddenly, our goals feel very far away.
Goals fail for a handful of reasons.
They’re too abstract: “I want to get fit.”
Or too ambitious: “I want to start a blog” (it’s not as easy as it looks, I swear 😉).
Or they rely entirely on willpower: “I’m going to work out five days a week.”
So we mostly set goals based on the outcomes we want, without asking how we are going to get there.
And when the goal is vague, your brain doesn’t know:
- what to do
- when to do it
- or how to measure progress
So you end up relying on motivation, but motivation fades.
How to Set Goals: SMART, but smarter
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
You may have heard of SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.
It’s a solid system. But it’s missing something important: your reason why and who you need to become to actually follow through. Because even the most perfectly structured goal won’t work if you don’t actually care about it.
Step 1: Start With Why This Matters to You
Before you actually set a goal, ask yourself:
- Why do I want this?
- What will change if I follow through?
- How will this make my life better?
Because when things get uncomfortable (and they will), your reason is what keeps you going. Without that, your goal becomes just another thing on your to-do list and easy to ignore when life gets busy. If you want to go deeper into this, I’ve written about finding your intrinsic motivation here.
Step 2: Turn Your Goal Into Something Clear and Measurable
Clear goals:
- tell you exactly what to do and when to do it
- remove decision fatigue
- make it easier to start
So when setting a goal, be really specific and make the goal measurable: “I will move my body for 20 minutes, 3 times a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday”.
Now your goal is no longer just an idea. It becomes something you can actually act on.
Make It Small Enough to Actually Do
Most people set goals based on their ideal self, not their current reality.
But if you want to build consistency, the most important thing is to start small. Small enough that you can stick to it, no matter what your day looks like.
Ask yourself:
- What is the smallest version of this I can commit to?
Examples:
- 10 minutes of yoga instead of an hour
- 2 minutes of meditating instead of 20
- 1 workout per week instead of 5
Small goals build momentum. And momentum builds self-trust and consistency.
Step 3: Track Progress, Reflect & Adapt
Goal setting is not a one-time event. Life changes. Priorities shift. And sometimes your goal needs to change too, and that’s okay.
Let’s say your goal is to work out three times a week, but you hit a busy period at work. Instead of quitting entirely, you could scale it back to once a week.
That’s why it’s important to check in regularly. What’s working? What isn’t? Am I on track? What do I need to adjust?This helps you adapt your goal to fit your life, instead of giving up on it altogether.
You can do this through simple check-ins like these:
Daily check-in (quick 2-3 minutes)
- Did I show up today?
- What made it easier or harder to follow through?
- What’s one small win I can acknowledge?
Weekly reflection (10-15 minutes):
- What went well this week? What helped?
- Where did I struggle?
- Was my goal realistic for this week?
- Am I building momentum, or does it feel too hard to maintain?
- Is there anything I want to do differently next week?
- Do I still feel motivated, or does it feel like a chore?
Monthly review (10-15 minutes):
- Looking back at the month, am I moving in the right direction?
- Does the goal still fit my life?
- Is this goal still important to me?
- (How) do I need to adjust the goal, the timeline, or the approach?
Besides your journaling practice, a habit tracker can be a simple and satisfying way to see your consistency at a glance. For me, there’s something motivating about not wanting to break a streak, it gives me a small daily reason to show up. However, I know for some people, tracking can be anxiety-inducing when they miss a day. If that’s you, remember that consistency is more important than perfection. Missing one day doesn’t erase your progress, and it definitely doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Just pick it back up the next day.
Journaling helps you understand why you’re showing up or not. A habit tracker simply shows you whether you are.
Step 4: Focus on Identity, Not Just Outcomes
Most goals are outcome-based: lose weight, finish a project, reach a milestone.
But what actually creates change is changing what you believe about yourself (your identity). Because your actions always follow your identity, and your brain will naturally resist actions that don’t match how you see yourself.
If you see yourself as someone who “never sticks to things”, your behaviour will reflect that.
So instead of only focusing on what you want to achieve, start thinking about who you want to become.
Ask yourself:
- Who do I need to be to achieve this goal?
For example:
- If your goal is to journal regularly, instead of ‘I want to journal every day,’ try ‘I am someone who reflects on their life.’ Even a single sentence in your notebook is evidence of that.
- If your goal is to run a 10K, adopt the identity: “I am a runner”. From there, every training session becomes proof of who you already are.
This is also why it’s important to start small. A short run is much easier to follow through on than a long one. And every time you do, you build evidence that you are, in fact, a runner.
If there’s one thing I’d encourage you to do after reading this, it’s to open your journal and write down one goal. Not a list, just one. Add your why, make it specific, and decide on the smallest possible version you can commit to this week. That’s it. The rest will follow.
Further reading
- Start With Why — Simon Sinek. If the “start with your why” section resonated with you, this book expands that idea into a full framework for how purpose drives everything we do.
- Atomic Habits — James Clear. The best practical guide to building habits that stick, including the identity-based approach covered in Step 4. Highly recommend if you want to go deeper on the systems side of goal setting.
☀️ How good are you at sticking to your goals? Please leave your own tips down below, I’d love to read your comments!
